Wednesday, July 2, 2014

My Legacy

After a long night of complaining about the weight of the world on my shoulders to my bestie last night, I have done some serious thinking today.  All too often lately, I have been reminded that tomorrow is not a promise. That you never know when it is your time to leave this earth, to leave your loved ones, and leave behind only your memory. That has led me down the road of what memories am I leaving behind.  What memories do I want to leave behind?

A few months ago I went to a training for Scouts. It's called Woodbadge Training.  Yes, the set up is designed around scouting, but the material is universal.  You work in a "patrol", a group, and learn how to accomplish goals together.  You learn how to find the strengths and weaknesses of the group and build on it.  You learn to work together and become a family. Yes, you do become a family.  But if you stop and think about it, aren't those all things we do on a daily basis.  I walked away from this training with a little more knowledge about scouting, but with a whole lot more knowledge about myself and my goals.

I won't spoil the entire course for anyone who hasn't gone and wants to go.  I recommend this course to EVERYONE.  It will literally change your life, not just your scouting life.

I will say this about the course though.  At the very end of the course, they bring everything that they have taught you over the past 2 months back together with one simple question.  They don't give you the answer.  Your answer is going to be different from my answer and their answer.  For the most part, your answer will depend on how much you took in from the course and how open minded you are. 

So right now, before you read on, I am going to ask you to open your mind.  Open your heart.  Think about this one question for a moment and then keep that in mind and you read my response.

What legacy are you leaving behind? Pretty simple question, right?  But if you stop and think about it, it's not that simple of an answer. 

As I sat there listening to their answers, I went from here to there and back in my head with my response.  What is my legacy?

If you know me at all, you are probably not surprised to know what my answer is.  The legacy that I want to leave behind revolves around my son 100%.  Tevon is my life.  He is my entire world.  I would give up everything in this entire world for my son, if I had to.  So yes, I want to leave behind amazing memories for my son.  I want to teach him right from wrong.  I want to teach him to be a gentleman and the proper way to treat a lady (something I find is lost these days).  I want to teach my son that trying and not succeeding is not failing by any means, because unless you try you will never grow.  I want to teach him to dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like you have never been hurt. To run like the wind. To always be positive and enjoy life. But in doing all of those things, that is where my legacy will lay. In doing all of those things, I will have an effect on someones life.  Not just on my son, but on the lives that he touches.

Life is not always easy.  Teaching a son, with the challenges that he has, all of those things, is not always easy.  Heck, teaching a child all of those things, is not always easy.  But first you must lead by example. They may not always be listening, but they are always watching.

When you wake up every morning, you have a choice.  You choose how your day will turn out for the most part. You choose your happiness, not anyone else.  I am not the best person at this, my bestie can attest to this after our long talk, but for the most part, I choose to be a positive person.  I extract myself from bad situations.  I look for the good in everyone, and hope for the best out of every situation.

I read an interesting article the other day, that rings a lot of truth.  A psychology teacher held up a glass of water to her students.  They all expected to hear the glass full or glass empty speech.  She instead, looked at her students and asked how heavy this glass of water was.  They all began throwing out answers such as 16 oz, 20 oz, etc.  She then proceeded to ask them how heavy it would be after 1 hour.  They all looked at each other with confusion. With no answers, she then asked, how heavy would this same glass of water be if I held it out like this for an entire day, or month or year? Still, no answers.  So she sat down the glass and turned to her students and explained that this glass of water is the same as your burdens.  The longer you hold on to things, the heavier they feel.  You have to learn to make peace with situations, and let me go. You choose your happiness.

Boy did that story hit home.  I sat there starring at that story for a while.  When someone has wronged you, you can't change it.  You can talk about it so it doesn't happen again, but you can't change the past.  I'm not saying you shouldn't get your feelings hurt, because let's be honest here, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  But you have to learn to not let things bother you so much, and learn to take a breath and release the negativity.  Let things go.

One more quick story.  I have a really good friend that handed me a book one day. Knowing some of the burdens that I had been carrying around, this friend told me to read it, I needed it.  The book was called "The Shack".  This friend was right, I needed this book.  The one major revelation I got out of this book was that God does not like it when you are unhappy.  If you are a parent, think about it like this.  If your child does something to break one of your rules, lets say they sneak a snack right before dinner.  Your child says they are sorry and won't do it again. You can see in this child's face that they are truly sorry for what they have done.  Do you want your child to carry around that burden for the rest of his life that he "stole" food when he wasn't supposed to? No! It seems silly, right? We are all God's children.  God knows that we make mistakes.  God knows when we are truly sorry.  He wants us to be happy and live the wonderful life he has given us.  We need to learn to let things go and not carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.  It makes God sad to see his children hurting, just like you as a parent are sad when your children are hurting.

So when you wake up in the morning, think about your choice for the day.  What legacy are you leaving behind? Who's life are you going to make a difference in today?

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